Faster Than One Liners

I love coming up with cheesy quotes from shows and movies to put in cards and emails. Life goes so quick but it is still a good idea to put together a nice one liners list. Here are some faster than one liners items I have now:

• Vanished quicker than [one hit wonder]’s music career.
• Faster than a wink of an eye
• Faster than the wife can figure out a way to spend it.
• Faster than a cat on a mouse
• Faster than a speeding bullett
  

• Quicker than your mother can unbutton her overalls.
• Faster than a cheetah could pounce on a limping [political figure].
• Gone faster than a [container of indigestion remedy/domesticated animal] in a [restaurant].
• Faster than a new version of anything by Microsoft needing to be patched.
• Disappeared faster than a [snack food] at a [diet program] meeting.
• Faster than a teenage girl with juicy gossip
• Gone faster than a toupee in a hurricane.
• That was faster than green grass through a goose.
• Out quicker than [sports team] at the play-offs.
• Disappeared faster than a watermelon in the hands of gallagher.
  

• Gone quicker than a cheesy poof in the hands of Cartman.
• Faster than a dog with a bone
• Quicker than [fat celebrity] would sign up for a butter convention (groundhog-at-a-cabbage-convention, etc)
• Faster than a speeding ticket.
• Lost faster than an intern’s dignity at a cigar club meeting
• Faster than the babysitter’s boyfriend when the car pulls up.